Saddened because I knew her as a kid. Knew herwhen she was him, actually, because they lived next door to us in thedreadful Park Hill estate in Sheffield. This estate of apartments -'flats' in British English - was an example of brutal modernistarchitecture, built to replace a bombed-out area (thanks, Luftwaffe)and by the 1980s, many of the flats were occupied by desperately poor,degenerate, drug and alcohol troubled, dysfunctional families who madelife hell for neighbours who were simply poor, like us. Francis camefrom one such dysfunctional 'family'.His father was an ex coal miner. The truth of the matter was that heworked in a pit in a small mining community that was supported bysubsidies, and hadn't an economic leg to stand on. This was concealedfrom all by astute Trade Union shenanigans, until one day all wasrevealed and the pit closed. Mythology has it that the pit was closedand the community torn apart by prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, butin truth, the previous Labour. "Thief!" she hissed. "My son! A thief! A petty ..." The shudders took over. I told her over and over that I was sorry and that I was stupid and that I didn't even want the game and all sorts of things. "Please, mommy! Don't cry! Please! I'll do anything but please don't cry!" But she did anyway and seemed inconsolable. I guess I should have done something but I didn't know what. I just wanted her to forgive me. "If you were like your sisters," she said, controlling her tears somewhat, "you wouldn't do something like that. Michelle and Tina would never even think of stealing something." She pushed me away from her and looked disgusted at me. I didn't even think what I looked like as I stood there with tears rolling copiously down my cheeks and my hands clasped in front of my chest, wanting so bad for her to love me again. I didn't have the faintest idea of what I looked like until she did look at me again and her eyes dropped down ... and down. That's when I.
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